Revelations

Orginally posted November 13, 2007

In God, whose word I praise.
In God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?
Psalm 56:4

A friend sent me this verse when I was in a need to receive this exact verse and I love it now! Thank you, you know who you are.

Isaiah 26: 1(a) Our city is strong!
We are surrounded by the walls of God's salvation.
2 Open the gates to all who are righteous;allow the faithful to enter.
3 You will keep in perfect peaceall who trust in you,all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
4 Trust in the Lord always,for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.


I've been going through a lot of growth right now and God is rocking my world. One of the things that I'm starting to understand and enabling God to fix in my life deals with rejection. We all have to go through rejection at some point and time. Some of us, (raising my hand on this one), start to take rejection in the wrong way and start to believe it is truth. We hide behind fear of the past and the mistakes that we/others have made. God is taking me through this course to release my past hurts and fear that I hide behind. He is pressing upon my heart to let the walls that I have built up to "protect" myself from the pain of rejection fall down. He wants to and can protect me. He wants to be my wall. One of the most amazing revelations I had came this morning. I finally understand something and have an inner peace now because of it. My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old and I knew a lot of the reasons behind it. Infidelity can mess you up when you're that age and it can really cause you to build up some walls which eventually can keep God out if they don't come down. God has impressed onto my heart that I can't live my life fearing people will hurt me like the past and trying to prevent it on my own.

A godly friend made a comment to me that struck a chord. He told me that he wasn't the guys from my past. Though it was a simple statement, I realized then that I put my expectations of how they would react to things onto him. That was all I knew and I was scared of anything other than that reaction in an odd way. I don't want to be like that anymore. I refuse to be like that. He isn't like the guys from my past and as long as I don't treat him as though he is like them, he won't be forced into being like them. Think of it this way. If you are use to be rejected by people you in essence force the new people in your life into rejecting you to prove that you are right about rejection and you end up being right by your own fault. This has changed and continues to improve in my life because I focus on God now and pleasing Him and finding my worth in Him instead of other people.

I can't go into a marriage and have this still small fear that one day the person will break my heart by cheating or any other thing. That still small fear is part of the root of rejection and it is causing a Steph made wall to be up. That is a fear of rejection that has to be uprooted! I finally understand that even though I pray for these things not happen, I pray for my husband and for our marriage continually, I may still end up walking through these hurts. However, I realize that I have no control over fixing this pain if it happens and I've got to give it to God because He is the great healer. He wants to put a wall of protection, both physical and emotional, around me. This actually happened when I received Christ (9/12/05). I just haven't let my walls down until now to enable God's walls to be planted firmly around me. God has my back and I trust Him now with this fact in my life, among others. I will have to walk through rejection because it's inevitable, but He is with me and will heal the bruises that are caused by out right rejection. I feel such peace now with my walls down. They continue to crumble everyday which is awesome! Praise God!!

I understand now that a lot of the rejection that I feel is self-induced. It is caused by inner vows (such as I will never let anyone close enough to hurt me, etc.) among other things. These inner vows are being uprooted and changed. They are being replaced by God's vows of His love and protection. I hope this made sense because I'm still trying to piece it altogether in my head right now. I've had a huge wait lifted from me. I'm not longer going to live by fear of how my past has come undone. If someone hurts me I will still love them as Christ loves me and forgive. I have realized and practiced the truth of the fact that I have been forgiven of much, so I can forgive much.

Anyway. I'm still working through the series that God is using to teach me this stuff. It is a Joyce Meyer series called 'The root of rejection'. It's been an incredibly eye opening experience and I'm thankful that God is walking me through it. It's painful right now, but I'll be even better when I come out to the other side. Laters.

~Steph