Not the same

Originally posted November 3, 2007

I am so blown away at the awesomeness of God. I am just in awe of how things work out exactly as they are supposed to and then how they work out. Even better is when things work out for me and God takes care of me and I don't even realize it until later. It makes me realize that He really does have my back and take care of me and I don't want to take that for granted. I went to the Joyce Meyers conference in Atlanta and I came back changed. Things that were confirmed and revealed to me only make me a stronger person in what it is that I believe and stand for in Christ and also it jacks me up about the vision that God has for my life. The Bible says that I'm created on purpose, for a purpose, and I have a purpose and the more that God reveals that to me the more in awe I am of how BIG He is and how little I think. I'm amazed that this former nobody chick from the middle of nowhere southern Iowa who grew up with everyone around having the dream of just getting out of town and not being sucked into staying there for the rest of their life. Never in my wildest dream did I ever believe I'm going to be doing what it is God has planned for me let alone what I'm doing now. I look back over the past year and see my spiritual growth and it leaves me speechless.

I've been going through relationship growth this past year. It was a bit over a year ago that I told God that I didn't want to love Him like everyone else says that they do. I want to be passionately and deeply in love with Him. I'm there now and it's great and it keeps getting greater. He is my focus instead of everything else around me and I can see how that is coming in line. Do I sometimes stray, yes, but not for as long as I use to. More and more I am keeping my eyes upon Him and not on what's going on around me. I have learned more of what it is to be a friend and have healthy boundaries and not let people walk all over me. I'm not a door mat!!!!! I refuse to be one anymore!!! I have also learned more about what a godly relationship looks like between men and women. This will help me tremendously when God brings my some kind of wonderful into the picture.

During the conference He was confirming with me on what it meant to be unique in Him. That doesn't meant following religious mindsets that we get or people try to get us to get. The time I spend with Him and how I spend it with Him is different from pretty much everyone else. But the fact of the matter is that I spend time with God and just because it doesn't look like how you spend time with God in no way affects the bottom line. I am seeking God in the best way I know how. An example of a religious mindset would be doing devotions when you first get up. You crack open the Bible and do you thing and get on with your day. For some people that would work, but not for me. I've realized that as much as people can try to force me into it by saying that is what I need to do in order to have a godly walk; I realize that it is just a religious mindset. They are trying to push what they do onto me and everyone else that doesn't do it their way. Another example is prayer. Some people can pray for hours and hours. That's awesome. I'm getting more ADD as I get older and I can't obtain focus that long for hours and hours. I'm lucky if when I pray before I go to sleep if I can get a couple minutes without losing track and then having to come back to where I was at.

Here is how my walk with God looks most days. When I wake up in the morning, I'm not too with it. I've never been much of a morning person and I don't comprehend much, which is why I know if I got into the word I wouldn't get much out of it. I do spend about 15 minutes or so before I get up and totally wake up with God talking to Him and such. While I'm at work I listen to messages that I've gotten from places like NewSpring (www.newspring.cc) or from people like Mark Driscoll (www.marshillchurch.org) and one of my favorite people Joyce Meyer (www.joycemeyer.org). These are great resources for me because I have found that I learn best by listening. I struggle with reading and getting it. In school I was always one to do really well in school if I just listened in class. I rarely ever opened the book unless I had to. I found that if I read I would get more confused and start to question myself. So the awesome part of listening to these different messages is it helps me grow by leaps and bounds and I'm able to spend most of my work day with God which helps when you have a high stress kind of job like I do. I also pray and talk with God a lot during the day. I can't sit there for hours or long periods of time and pray but I can pray multiple times during the day. When I go to bed depending on how hungry I still am I will sometimes directly get into the word and explore more of what I heard during the day. I would have to say that the longest time I spend in prayer is right before I go to sleep. That is how my walk usually looks with God on my own time. It really works for me and I know that it is working because I am growing and seeking God more and more. I am learning to be strong with my faith and not to be blown over by what other people think I should do in order to essentially conform to their thoughts and ideas. God created us all unique and we need to find the unique way that we connect with Him, not how so and so connect with Him.

will more than likely put up some more blogs later on what else I learned while at the conference, but this is one of the big ones. Don't fall into the trap of the religious mindsets. I found that I have a few that I try to enforce on myself and it doesn't work very well and now I understand why. I also understand what it means when God said if you seek me you will find me. I am finding Him foresure and all I can do is stand in awe. It's a great place to be. One more thing to remember, it's all about quality not quantity. Understanding and being able to apply 1 verse you read in the Bible is better than reading an entire book (like Matthew) and not getting anything. Don't let people tell you how your walk is supposed to look. Let God tell you. He knows you best. Seek Him and He will show you the way. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains and those mountains just could be your heart, soul, and mind. Until next time.

~Steph