I hear the rain...

So my last post described where I was this past weekend. Good news. God has delivered me again!!! Whoo Hoo for Jesus! Here is what He pressed into my heart through this whole experience.

1.) Don’t let what seems to be logical in my situation control the perspective God has given to me. In essence what I’m trying to say is it would be really easy for me to listen to satan when he whispers in my ear that no one is purusing me possibly because I’m not “pretty enough”. God has told me different and I can’t listen to that garbage. In the moments that I do give it some weight I've learned to beg God to let me see myself the way He sees me and then those thoughts disappear.

2.) God is bigger than my circumstances and even though I may not see it God is at work. He really hammered this in when I was reading the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. She was mocked because she couldn’t have children. God had plans for her bigger than she could ever imagine. She would be the one to give birth to Samuel, one of the great prophets of God. Then He went onto to bless her with even more children than she originally thought. She was taunted and mocked because of her circumstances. I feel that I relate to her in the same sense as that’s what it’s like for me in this society. I’m amazed at how many people just look right through me and a lot of times don’t even give me the chance of friendship due to my appearance, or so it would seem at times. It’s a sucky situation but I know that God has something great planned for me and just as He didn’t let any of Hannah’s tears and desperate cries out to Him go in vain, neither will mine.

3.) This leads me to the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18:41-45. God put the rain in Elijah’s heart. He knew it would rain long before God had it rain. God has put something in my heart that just knows there is rain in my future. I know that there will be moments when I will be in such awe that I get to live the life I am. I can feel it. He’s about ready to open the doors to a future I never imagined or dreamed for myself. He has some really big plans in store and everyday and every step just gets me closer. I must be patient and wait on Him as His timing is always perfect.

So that’s where I’m at right now. I really don’t think things will get easier. Anytime satan is able to get me to stumble down, because there will be times when he will, he is going to flail on me with everything he’s got as hard and as long as he can before God swoops down and saves me. In those moments of my deepest despair I hold onto the hope God has placed in my heart that He is about to someone incredible as soon as I get through this and to hold on to Him. He is the anchor of my soul and the reason I won’t give up. ~ Steph